People are way too calm about the upcoming Rugby World Cup

Sep 18, 2019

The Rugby World Cup kicks off on Friday the 20th, here are my "Couch Rugby Expert" guesses predictions (yes, I am the best couch rugby expert out there, I have a certificate to prove it 🙂)....

If you are too lazy to read the rest of my drivel, then here's a summary - One way or the other, either New Zealand (All Blacks) or South Africa (Boks) or both will be in the finals. Additionally, whoever wins when the 2 sides meet on Saturday will emerge World champs regardless of who they encounter in the final. Secondly, a Pacific islands nation OR Japan will also reach the Semis/Quarters, they will cause major upsets (France I am looking at you, you sauceless dons). The wildcard in this WC is probably Fiji, with Georgia and Japan coming close.

If you are not lazy to read, then here's my assesment... based on "facts".. and beer garden scientific studies....


As I mentioned earlier, the top contenders are the Boks and the All Blacks, with the latter being firm favourites to lift the cup by virtue of them being the team I support (DUH🙄).
On a more serious note though, whoever wins Saturday's encounter between the two (read, the All Blacks), will proceed to the finals and become the world champions.
As for the other participants, this is how I view them (You should also view them this way, because there is safety in numbers):

  1. England. LMAO. England will never know what a Rugby World Cup victory feels like for the next few years, I mean, they left Danny Cipriani, the best player EVER, that's one thing they are consistent on, overlooking Cipriani. In what universe is Ford a better back than Danny? absolute nonsense from Eddie. That said, It's definitely not "coming home", drink your tea and enjoy being the "almost boys".
  2. Wales. The Welsh have absolutely no shot, they are chokers of note (remember 2011? losing that group encounter against the Boks? smh).
  3. Scotland. They are a "paper fire", they will appear strong at the start but I expect them to be woeful at the end, would be a mean feat if they even reach the Semis.
  4. France LOL. Come on, we are talking about countries that can AT LEAST beat Fiji AND Argentina easily, France will be knocked out in the Quarters at best if they even reach those (I am predicting one of the Pacific islanders reaching the Quarters). Though I must give it to them, in the past, they managed to stop the All Blacks dead in their tracks....a legacy which they erased through that crushing defeat during the 2015 Quarter Finals (Who can forget Julian Savea totally making a scene against that French defence?)
  5. Ireland...I dont know man, I am not convinced they will do much. Fine, they managed to beat New Zealand at their peak just after the 2015 World Cup, therefore based on that, I would say they might have a shot IF they encounter the All Blacks with that flair from 2016, causing a major upset.
  6. Australia...Sigh, where do I begin...the Wallabies have been hot and cold the last few years. We cannot discount how they fared against the All Blacks during the 2019 Rugby Championship... but then again, the return leg was a snuff movie, we all saw what happened there. Nonetheless, I am pitting the Wallabies against England in the Quarter Finals, the Wallabies will then knock England out. Hell, i can even throw some chewing tobacco and say, they will proceed to the finals and lose to the All Blacks or Boks.
  7. Argentina, (read the comment on Scotland, but in Spanish).

So there you have it, my word is law and all I say in rugby circles ALWAYS comes to pass, let the greatest game begin... Oh, and you should pay your tithes to me you mortals.🙃